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Melbourne's two Storm fans, said to be distraught, rest of the city oblivious
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23rd April 2010
Following yesterday's announcement of the Melbourne Storm breach of the NRL's salary cap and the stripping of their two premiership titles; Melbourne Storms two fans Macca and Gazza were said to be distraught. The rest of Melbourne's 4 million people were however looking forward to this weekends AFL clash between Collingwood and Essendon.

Jeff Jefferson, an officer worker from Fitzroy said: "I'm totally shocked, I never even new they had a salary cap, to be honest though I've never watched a game of this rugby league. I always watch the wallabies though!" When we pointed out that the Wallabies were the Rugby Union team, Jeff looked us blankly.

Ex-CEO of the Storm and the now CEO of the Melbourne Rebels Super 14 Rugby side has tendered his resignation. This has caused 24% of Victorians to go temporarily cross eyed as they did not realise there were two codes of the sport. Sharon Sharonson, a bogan from Collingwood said "OK so hold on then, now Allan Langer, he plays league right? And that Lomu fulla? What version does he play?".

A spokesman for the Storm has said the players have agreed to take a salary cap, he said: "Because sticking together is what rugby league is all about, that and punching your girlfriend in the face outside a busy bar after getting paralytically drunk on a Saturday night".

The salary cap debacle has shone an unfortunate light on the Melbourne Rebels attempt for Melbourne to have another successful sporting franchise that no one in the city give a flying fuck about.

Meanwhile, while most major sponsors are said to be pulling out of deals, the major banks were said to be lining up to sponsor the Storm, as they believe a team run by wealthy, devious and manipulative bastards to completely represent their approach to both business and customers.

Disclaimer: The above articles and all articles on The NZ News Online are Satire or Parody and are not real news.  They are entirely fictitious/devoid of facts/made up for the purposes of comedy/NOT REAL.
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