NZ apple growers looking forward to sending rotten apples to Australia
19 April 2010
After a 90 year trade embargo due to fire blight, a bacterial disease, NZ apple growers were rubbing their hands together in anticipation at the prospect of sending rotten and spoiled apples to those "bastard Aussies, whether they want them or not!"
However, NZ apple growers are being cautious, ever wary of the perceived
crafty, one-eyed Australian and their masterful skill at keeping shite
out of their country via the use of trade barriers and fancy legal
speak.However, the World Trade Organisation, the organisation tasked with making countries import things they don't want, has recently ruled against Australia's use of trade barriers to ban the import of pip-fruit from New Zealand. Currently New Zealand apple farmers produce excess stocks of fruit which which can rapidly spoil. A New Zealander wouldn't feed this to their dog, but, it is deemed entirely suitable for shipping on mass to the Australian market.
Jeff Jacobson, an apple farmer from Northland said: "Like most Kiwis I hate and am generally obsessed with Australia in equal measure, for underarm bowling and generally being a bit shifty. However, I will obviously gladly still sell any or all of my produce at an inflated price to them given the first opportunity that arises".
He continued: "And if I can shift some of my rotten stock and make a few of those dingo bastards sick, leading to them losing in the Bledisloe Cup and the eventual overturning of their government with eventual anarchy ensuing, then all the better".
When asked for comment, the Australian Government said it was less worried about a few crates of apples and was trying to figure out how to get rid of the 500,000 New Zealanders currently encamped on Bondi Beach.
Disclaimer: The above articles and all articles on The NZ News Online are Satire or Parody and are not real news. They are entirely fictitious/devoid of facts/made up for the purposes of comedy/NOT REAL.
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