Australian Police to Demand Sturdier Weapons to Beat Brown People
24 March 2010
Police in Melbourne, Australia's second largest city, were today demanding sturdier weapons as they continue their relentless beating of brown people and anyone who talks a bit funny. This coincided with the apparent revelation, that during 2006 - 2009 the Office of Police Integrity (OPI) only investigated 1 out of the 20 complaints made against police by Australians of African descent.
Victorian Police are complaining that with the continued and growing
influx of immigrants into Australia, their standard issue batons, are
not holding up to the repeated and relentless, bashings of immigrants of
all shades of skin colour, at bus shelters, and parks. Senior Sergeant Jim "Jimmo" Johnson stated: "It's a changing Australia, and we're still using weapons made to the standards of 20 years ago. Back in the 80s you'd maybe bash one or two Wogs a week and the odd Abbo, now it's one or two a night, and that doesn't even include the Lebs, Japs or Blacks. Standard issue batons just don't cut it, each new constable is going through one a week"
A new colour coded chart is also being distributed to each new Victorian Police recruit, detailing the severity of each beating they can give out depending on the shade of skin colour without a serious complaint being laid and then not investigated.
Disclaimer: The above articles and all articles on The NZ News Online are Satire or Parody and are not real news. They are entirely fictitious/devoid of facts/made up for the purposes of comedy/NOT REAL.
.
Copyright 2009 Lettuce Productions Ltd - This website is intended for adults over 18 years of age