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MPs: We're only sticking to the rules we made up to make us rich.
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05 August 2009
MPs were today pointing out that they had not broken any of the rules, that they made up, to decide up how much money they could secretly steal from taxpayers. The Prime Minister, John Key, has defended ministers, saying that many people did not realise that ministers were forced into their line of work and that most of them do not even own a holiday house in Hawaii.

These revelations came, as it emerged, that the Finance Minister, Bill English, claims $1000 per week to live in his own home. The Finance Minister, who put his house into his wife's name allowing him to claim more expenses this way, said that this was just a coincidence as, being Finance Minister, he's really not very good with numbers.

It has also emerged that MPs can claim up to 90% of the cost of flights, after enough years of service, for them and their families to go on vacation, even after they have left office. Sir Roger Douglas, has defended the flights saying that people do not understand the stresses of Parliament. He explained that while, it is true that the job is mostly 3 hour pub lunches followed by propositioning female MP's before going home to your tax payer funded house, the morning is filled with often up to 2 hours of non-stop work and that the coffee in the Parliamentary canteen is really not very good.

Meanwhile MPs are looking at approving more things that they can legally claim, because they make up the rules as they go along, including monthly pacific cruises, acquiring small uninhabited islands and purchasing 70's pimp suits.


Disclaimer: The above articles and all articles on The NZ News Online are Satire or Parody and are not real news.  They are entirely fictitious/devoid of facts/made up for the purposes of comedy/NOT REAL.
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