John Key's super fun Pacific holiday.
John Key was in Tonga today on the first leg of his tax payer funded holiday. The Prime Minister has aptly the titled tour "The John Key Show" and with 74 hanger-ons and his own private plane, he is officially more of a diva than Maria Carey. Mr Keys entourage includes former All Blacks Michael Jones and Va'iga Tuigamala and a hip hop dance troupe as backing dancers to his performance extraordinaire.
It
is understood that Mr Key is carried into the cultural performances from
each pacific island nation by the giant All Blacks. There he performs
with local cultural performers, using the hip hop troupe to provide a
beat box, back-up dancing and back flips. It is understood his rider involves a bucket of each islands finest kava, an extravagant floral display and the tears of 100 Polynesian children.
But the Prime Minister has assured it's not all about his dancing. It's also about puppies, singing and making coconut sauce in parts of the world that are classed as third world and people earn less than The Prime Minister is third from the right $5 per hour and not long ago their were pro-democracy riots. Mr Key said that King George Tupou V had assured him there would be no more riots as they had successfully quashed the last rebellion and had ordered police to be heavy handed with future organisers.
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