No other news today as world stops to watch Michael Jackson funeral
The world stopped today to watch the funeral of Michael Jackson, a 50 year old man who could sing and dance exceptionally well in the 80's and who really, really, really loved children. As every news network stayed tuned with morbid fascination to his funeral, people across the world, who purchased his "best of" album 10 years ago and have been playing it continuously in the last week watched every detail of his last moments.
In China, Uigher and Han Chinese put down their sticks and machetes and stopped beating seven shades of shit out of each other, to gaze transfixed at the television screen, before returning to cracking each other skulls, but now filled with the hope of gaining tickets to the Michael Jackson funeral.
Meanwhile, it is strongly rumoured that the nuclear disarmament by the USA and Russia is due largely out of respect for Michael Jackson.
He sure loved dancing.
And across the Middle East peace temporarily broke out as armed militia stopped shooting young woman in the face in peaceful protests and Mahmoud Ahmadinjad and Mir Hossein Mousavi put there differences aside and embraced.
Jeff Jameson, who managed to get to the funeral by getting the last golden ticket in a Wonka bar of chocolate said: "It was very moving, MICHAEL I LOVE YOU, but no, it was great however I was half expecting him to launch out his coffin and perform thriller. Apart from that though it was fantastic".
Sharon Sharonsin, a housewife from Arizona, who travelled to the Staple Centre in LA for the funeral said: "I was a bit shocked by all the black people, at first I though MJ sure did know a lot of black people then I remember he used to be black, crazy!"
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