Winston Peters attempting return to politics and limelight.
Following Winston Peters appearance on channel One's Q and A show, speculation is building that he is planning a return to politics. A source close to Peters has suggested that the move has come because all his friends are sick of hearing him moan on and on about Maoris and Asians, so he is contemplating a return to politics in order to annoy a much larger audience. That, and for the secret donations and a new ministerial car, it is rumoured he would like something with a soft-top.
Winston Peters, has in the past jumped on any issue that will drum up enough angry pensioner support to ensure his 5% of the vote to get into parliament. He started with superannuation which turned out not to be exciting enough so, altered tack to start blaming all of New Zealand's woes on immigrants, despite his mother being a Scottish immigrant and the majority of New Zealanders being of immigrant decent, a fact largely forgotten by his enraged supporters.
His latest issue is to dispute Maori's rights to the foreshore and Mr Peters needs a new car seabed, something he may or may not be especially interested in, but, which will gain him enough walking stick waving support to get him back his ministerial job and an increase in TV exposure.
His return is timed so that there is something contentious for him to rant about, but also, it has been long enough that you can't quite remember the $100,000 donation he took, then didn't take, then did take but forgot to declare then didn't take again.
We asked people on the street of his former Tauranga electorate what they thought of his comeback, Sharon Sharonsin, a retired school teacher said: "I'm 93 you know, what's that dear? what's that?.. eh?... what's that dear? Oh, Mr Peters, he's a lovely charming man isn't he, ooh and such a looker, yes, he'll have my vote again."
John Smith, a mechanic, had this to say: "Yeah, good on Winston, I'm sick to death of these bloody Maoris and all they're bloody marching and seabed nonsense, it's about time someone who can string two sentences together spoke up about 'em, and don't get me started on the asians, bloody hell, it's like bloody chinatown down here".
Disclaimer: The above articles and all articles on The NZ News Online are Satire or Parody and are not real news. They are entirely fictitious/devoid of facts/made up for the purposes of comedy/NOT REAL.
.
Copyright 2009 Lettuce Productions Ltd - This website is intended for adults over 18 years of age