$35 Million NZ lottery winner to "blow" money on 4 badly worded non-binding referendums.
The purchaser of yesterdays winning lotto ticket has said they will most likely use the winnings to fund 4 badly worded, non-binding referendums. Either that or hollow out a volcano and hire an army of henchman in a bid for world domination. George Smith from Masterton, the holder of the lucky ticket, said that wanted to blow the money faster than an 18 year old NRL player and this seemed the most efficient way to do it.
Mr Smith said: "Initially I thought I would blow the money on a cocaine fuelled, week long, high class hooker induced party. However,
even that decadence would only make a small dent in the total winnings.
I figured the only way to get rid of the money quickly was to have 4
referendums about punching children in the face".When asked why he didn't use the money on something useful and just get the government to fund his referendum Mr Smith replied: "Well, I had thought about it, but I couldn't be bothered getting the 600,000 signatures, I mean, getting that many people to support punching children in the face is no problem, I mean most people in New Zealand can't walk down the street without doing it, but I just couldn't be bothered".
Can we still punch this guy in the face?
Mr Smiths proposed referendums are:
Referendum 1:
Should a punch in the face as part of excellent parental correction be a criminal offence in New Zealand or are you a lefty pinko with no kids?
Referendum 2:
Isn't it great to punch a kid in the face on a sunny day or are you a gay who hates summer days?
Referendum 3:
What about punching gays in the face, can we still do that?
Referendum 4:
Were the previous 3 referendums useful or do you hate baby Jesus?
When asked what he hoped the outcome of the 4 referendums would be Mr Smith said: "Hopefully proving to the government that although we may not be allowed to punch children and gays in the face anymore, the vast majority of New Zealanders are ultra violent individuals who still want to go around punching people whenever the whim takes them".
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