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David Bain Verdict: We wouldn't fuck it up quite so royally these days say Police.
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If they were to reinvestigate the David Bain case today NZ Police say they would not fuck it up quite so royally as they did in 1994 and if they did they would at least get their story straight. Unfortunately, for all involved, you usually only get one chance at a murder investigation.

"As with all investigations, there are things we could do differently, and things we've learn from it" said the Detective in Charge Matthew Sellar. He continued; "For instance, today, we would try and avoid burning down the house where the murders were committed, at least, until after we have collected all the evidence, but, the current thinking at the time was to burn the house down in the middle of the investigation".

Region commander Mike Smith said: "We put forward the best evidence, which was essentially the same as 1994. The only problem was that this time there were a whole lot more defence experts, with much bigger moustaches than the prosecution experts, essentially telling us that our evidence was a complete pile of garbage, that and we threw out most of the evidence we did have during a spring-cleanout". 
Right, now if I put theses glasses here...fantastic!

He continued: "In the 1990's forensic tests were not as sensitive as they are today, so you could happily move evidence around to fit it better to the crime, how was anyone to know? Re-testing everything now, we're getting DNA matches to the officers involved left, right and centre. Most of this evidence contradicted what the officers involved said in 1994, so we kind of fucked up there. Makes you wonder though eh?"

"Lastly" he said "back in the day, people were impressed with a bit of forensic jargon, a couple of big words and that's all the evidence you need. These days with CSI everyone thinks they're a bloody expert and if you don't have someone rabbiting on about micro-fibres and blood splatter analysis, you've got no chance".

Disclaimer: The above articles and all articles on The NZ News Online are Satire or Parody and are not real news.  They are entirely fictitious/devoid of facts/made up for the purposes of comedy/NOT REAL.
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