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The NZ News Online Michael Jackson, The King of Freaks, death finally starting to look interesting. The general public are breathing a collective sigh of relief, as facts emerge following Michael Jackson's death, showing that his death was not as normal as first thought. Initially, it seemed the King of Freaks had died from a normal, run of the mill, heart attack induced by stress; as opposed to trying to fly like Peter Pan or getting attacked by a chimp as he tried to dress it in human clothes for his daily tea party. However, as more information seeps out it appears that his is death is not as straight forward as originally thought. Information ha s emerged
detailing, that, prior to dying the singer/dancer/child toucher was
injected with a painkiller similar to morphine, knocking it back with a
generous portion of "Jesus juice". Michael Jackson's Doctor, a John
Smith, describes himself as a "cardiovascular specialist and tarot
expert".However, experts with degrees from actual universities and not just printed of the internet, have said that his addiction to pain killers and this lethal mix in particular, was one "health tonic" too many and induced the heart attack. Around the world, celebrities who say they knew the star, but, obviously not well enough to spend time with him or support him in his hard times or be seen in the same city as him after his latest Genius you say? court cases, rushed in to give there condolences and try and grab another bit of his limelight, like the emotionally inept people they truly are. It has also emerged that the singer has 100 unreleased songs to be released after his death to support his family in the future. Also, in typical Michael Jackson fashion, following a conversation with a friend who said he could "shit in a box and sell it for a fortune", there are expected to be 1000 personally signed and numbered shit-boxes to be sold on ebay. Initially, in the event of his death, Michael Jackson had expressed wishes to be cremated but he was talked out of it due to the environmental damage caused by burning plastic. Rumours of his other funeral requests are currently beginning to come to light, they include: being buried dressed as the 17th century Queen of England, being buried alongside his favourite 3 monkey slaves and people magically forgetting that a month ago that they thought he was a demented pervert and instead remembering him as a musical genius. Disclaimer: The above articles and all articles on The NZ News Online are Satire or Parody and are not real news. They are entirely fictitious/devoid of facts/made up for the purposes of comedy/NOT REAL. . |
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