New Zealand to expect a rise in the number of evil geniuses.
Yesterday in the 2009 Budget, the National government announced that there is to be a reduction in government funding for scientific research and development. Experts say to expect a massive increase in the number of evil geniuses and super villains attempting to take over New Zealand and then the world. Scientists on the sides of both good and evil were outraged with the announcement of a reduction of $700 million of government funding through cuts to the Fast Forward programme and the Research and Development tax credits.
Professor Xavier, a leading expert on genetics and mutations said: "With
the government cuts, only evil heads of corporations such as Lex
Luthor, will be to afford to carry out research. With cuts to
government funding, scientists working on the side of good will
quickly fall behind in the battle against evil." When questioned on this Lex Luthor, CEO of
LexCorp said he looked forward to the opportunity to now hire the
impending flood
of unemployed scientists, thereby enabling him to focus on his futuristic weapon
development department, so that he could "once and for all, destroy Superman".On the plus side the Crown Research Institute is to receive an increase in funding of $28 million. Professor Xavier however was sceptical as "that is nowhere near enough to cover the basic maintenance, let alone the development of an anti-magnetic force field to keep the likes of Magneto at bay".
Dr Richard Reed, a leading aerospace and electrical engineering expert for the defence force said: "The government cuts to funding are unbelievable, how are we expected to defend the country and the planet from the likes of Doctor Doom?" Dr Reed said he expected to take the starship his team have been working on immediately into space, even though testing has not been completed; "I have calculated that the ship should be able to protect us from the radiation levels, so we should be OK."
Finally, Doctor Bruce Banner, a leader in gamma ray technology said: "I mean how do they expect my research to go forward. My research grant has been cut as of tomorrow. I will have to try one last experiment using myself as the volunteer. Hopefully it will all go smoothly".
Dr Doom received his PhD from Empire State University
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