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Rodney Hide: "I'll continue being an immoral arsehole until someone makes it illegal"
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31st October 2009
Rodney Hide today confirmed that he will continue being an immoral pile of shit until someone makes it illegal, even if the things he's doing are completely contradictory to something he campaigned on previously. He stated to the press yesterday: "Yes, the whole world does revolve around me".

Mr Hide has has come under criticism this week for taking his partner on his round the world fact-finding mission paid for by the tax payer, despite the fact that he opposes the subsidy. Mr Hide had previously campaigned against MPs expenses, this was largely until he was caught exploiting a broken system.

We asked Mr Hide about his use of the expense system: "Is it immoral? Yes, however it is not illegal, largely because we make the rules up as we go along, everyone knows you can do whatever you like as it's not illegal or you don't get caught." He continued: "Other things that politicians do that are immoral but not illegal include: lying and watching porn at work and until these are specifically banned I'll continue to do them also."

"I'm not a martyr" said Mr Hide. Critics were quick to point out that, that's fucking obvious as a martyr dies for his cause whereas cannot even stick to them.

Meanwhile, most political commentators were just wondering how someone who's head looks like a giant circumcised penis could score someone as hot as his current partner.  Geoff Jefferson, The NZ News Online's political expert said: "I guess it's the free round the world trips travelling business class and staying in fancy hotels, you've got to wonder though, is it really worth it?"



Disclaimer: The above articles and all articles on The NZ News Online are Satire or Parody and are not real news.  They are entirely fictitious/devoid of facts/made up for the purposes of comedy/NOT REAL.
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